Cooties Virus
Due to the rapid spread of the Cooties Virus, the following measures are being taken at Koan Cafe. Read carefully as not following our guidelines can result in permanent ban. Option A or Option B will be implemented at the door but not without the finalization procedure.
Option A
Proof of Cooties Vaccine + 2 Boosters
Appropriate documentation must be shown via CootiesPass app or printout of certificate.
Only vaccines given via the circle, circle, dot, dot [now you got your cootie shot] procedure is valid.
Eligible boosters: (1) circle, circle, square, square [now you got it everywhere] and (2) circle, circle, knife, knife [now you got it for life].
Option B
Temperature Check + Rapid Test
Temperature is taken via rectal thermometer followed by a rapid test from the magic 8-ball.
Finalization
Once either Option A or Option B is understood, non-compliance is mandatory. Any guest insisting on complying will be banned from Koan Cafe.